It’s seems everyone and their brother are on a twin flame journey right now and while it’s not my place to judge whether you are or aren’t, I think it’s important to recognize that things are often romanticized and distorted. This is why it is crucial to seek truth and not just blindly believe what you “see” or are told.
If you aren’t familiar with the twin flame journey then this piece isn’t for you. I do not breakdown the theory, nor do I go into details about how it came to be. Those who are on the journey know and it’s an inner knowing that needs no explanation.
These thoughts captured below are just that — my thoughts. For me, at this point in my journey, they are my truth or what I understand to be true. I recognize that as I further my growth and awareness to that which is beyond me, these thoughts may change. But for right now, they asked to be conveyed upon the written page and so this piece is my obedience to my truth.
After a dry spell of being unable to write, I woke this morning to a flood of information that poured out of me. Never have I ever wrote out my thoughts like this. In fact, I find myself very vulnerable in even sharing these thoughts as I understand the propensity of many to cast judgment on anything spiritual/mystical in nature. But there reaches a point in the spiritual journey where one is no longer held hostage by fear and must push forward in truth towards expansion and the sharing of this truth with others.
I have transcribed my words just as I wrote them in my notebook, recognizing that my grammar, in spots, left fragmented sentences or seemed to implicate thoughts at random. It is what it is. It was important to me to relay what I wrote as it was written, as the manner of my thoughts don’t seem entirely my own. This is part of my spiritual journey as a twin flame.
My last disclaimer is my reference to God as “He.” Each of us are on our own journey and thus, God, Source, Universe, Gaia, etc., are representation of our understanding of the Divine. For me, God has always been my father, as I grew up without one most of my life. I mean no offense in my reference as He/Him.
And so it begins…
December 29, 2020
Duality — that part of ourselves that we cannot change. That part of ourselves that we cannot control. We are merely observers to that part of ourselves.
This is the lesson.
To learn to love and accept that part of ourselves. To understand its existence and recognize that it is still part of who we are. This is unification. To acknowledge the frustration, the jealousy, the enviousness, the disappointment, overindulgence, anger, self-soothing (etc). To become unified with God is to acknowledge these parts of ourselves, without judgment, and to move forward in love and harmony.
He is within me and I, him. Duality. Yet, nothing can separate us from God’s love — unification.
While eyes may say “You are separate,” we know this to be illusion. What better personification of this than one soul placed in two separate bodies. The soul longs to come back together, but it has forgotten that it was never separated.
All of my life, I’ve always searched for validation. Yet, that was also part of the lesson. Validation comes from within. Truth lies inside me. To know is to activate one’s center. And in understanding, truly understanding, one is able to truly let go. The soul knows the truth — for it is a shared truth. It is the mind that wants to place judgment. But things are not bad/good or good/bad as the mind would try to explain it, rather things are as they are; neither good or bad — just parts that make up the whole. Yet, the ego detaches from self and either refuses to examine these aspects (denial) or sees these aspects and separates itself from them as if to say, “I am NOT those things.”
Furthermore, it makes judgments, labeling these constructs and behaviors as “bad.” Thus, it cannot be unified because of the line in the sand it has drawn against itself. It convinces itself that it must change or that it must “heal” these aspects with love. Yet, this in not taking into account that love is already there — for God’s lifeblood of love is what fuels the soul.
It does not recognize that it is fear that prevents the mind from fully accepting itself. And the ego, being the incredible crafty machine that it is, diverts attention away from fear, and centers its attention on love. Yet, it is the removal of fear that clears the divisiveness of the soul. Fear pushes away full integration of one’s self because it refuses to accept the darkness within. And in this power struggle, the ego creates more fear.
Fear cannot drive out fear. In relation to the twin flame journey, this is why the runner/chaser cycle persists. The soul longs for unification. Metaphysically it already is, but the lesson here on the earthly plane is to see beyond the here and now — in essence, to step outside the labyrinth. Thus, the soul must rely on faith, not sight here on Earth.
The struggle is going against everything it has been conditioned to understand on Earth. Because the soul is also part of a human body, it struggles to understand the expression of itself when it encounters its twin. Unlike the normal struggle of one soul in one body to self-actualize and reach unification (with unification being the ability to see and accept both dark and light aspects of one’s self) the twin sees these aspects in another person. The struggle is that wherein one’s self, the soul is able to have a sense of control over which aspects, at what rate, and when these aspects become integrated within one’s self; the twin has no control over the other person. Thus, the separation appears to be even more defined.
One twin believes loving will bring healing, while the other twin experiences an increase of fear because it fears to see the dark aspects that are being illuminated. As one twin gains courage to face the fear and bring dark aspects to the surface, the other begins to experience (I left this with a question mark because I don’t know what the other person is experiencing).
The issue is one twin confuses love with unification. If I “love” them then they will be healed. The misunderstanding here is that love equals acceptance. While God’s unconditional love is accepting, it is not the remedy for division. The remedy is to see one’s self wholly and accept all aspects without judgment. And then to understand that the illusion has always been “separateness.”
There reaches a point where the self understands that it is not separate from the twin — that it never has been, but it struggles on the earthly plane because it still seeks validation from the other twin. The ego’s fear is activated when the other twin does not validate what they believe to be true, in essence, fear arises from unacceptance.
On an ethereal level, the twin knows the truth that all are one and there is no separation, but because of the senses felt on the earthly plane, this truth is quickly weakened by the need to be validated. This lack of validation, in turn, activates fear. The physical body reacts in accordance, making the inner truth that much more inaccessible. Thus, the twin struggles with aligning their truth with what is felt, seen, and expressed.
One must continue to push past what is “known” on this plane and break through the barrier that is the inner veil and embrace one’s truth with no validation save for the inner knowing. Fear will bring to life any and all obstacles to prevent unification of truth. What compounds the twin flame journey is the outward illusion that the two souls are separate. One forgets that what one does on one side of the reflection also affects the other. That is because it is still viewing itself as separate. The eyes — the senses are part of the illusion.
The soul must come to rest with faith — trusting what is known and not what is seen. When the twin finally acknowledges the illusion, sees themselves fully, wholly, with dark/light attributes without judgment, it dissolves the fear-division and unites with itself.
“As above, so below…” The soul must recognize all aspects — so while one twin may arrive at this conclusion faster than the other, the true test is in balance. The twin must remain outside the illusion no matter what is seen and experienced by the senses and hold tight to their truth. For this is faith expanded. To balance in between both worlds with confidence that the other twin will mirror the change, all the while being kept in a perpetual state of outwardly unknowing. Each time the twin allows fear and the ego’s desire for validation to creep in, it must start again. Balance is obtained in knowing the truth (no separation), acceptance of one’s self wholly, driving out fear, and finally integrating one’s self in union with God’s divine love.
It is important to look in the mirror and see one’s self fully. To acknowledge earthly desires, to accept those attributes about one’s self that the ego tries to protect one from seeing. For example, to say to one’s self, “I am part divine, thus, it is wrong to get jealous.” What happens is we make a judgment against ourselves in that moment. We say to ourselves, “It is bad to be jealous,” instead of accepting that this attribute lies inside us. The moment we recognize it for what it is (acknowledge), accept it, and then allow it to pass by without judgment, becomes the moment we allow it to unify into our presence and become one with our being.
Meditation allows us the ability to learn to quiet the mind and feel what integration feels like. Through meditation, we are able to clear out residue of concepts that seek division. It brings forth balance as we breathe in God’s presence and release fear, pride, and ego from taking the reins.
We see ourselves for who we truly are — all the light and all the dark, and we finally understand our humanity. We chose this experience to taste the totality of expression, to test our true ability to solve the puzzle. We say to ourselves, “I can do it,” not understanding how difficult our senses will make it, not fully comprehending the power of the mind when coupled with the senses. We can try to separate ourselves from knowing (mentally) and “knowing” (truly knowing) and grasp it for a second and then have it disappear like a vapor. It dissolves pride and fear and fortifies one’s ability to tap into their inner knowing.
What connection exists when fear, pride, and control are no longer and one is at rest with the duality of being? — perfect love; divine love. 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” One is now able to accept another’s love because he/she no longer rejects the duality/dark attributes in another because the other is a reflection of him/herself. Seen through this reflection, he/she extends him/herself fully for there is no longer anything to fear.
The twin no longer seeks validation in the other twin because it sees its reflection for its true self and accepts what is. “I accept my own humanity,” it says. “I accept my divinity.” And finally, “I accept my totality.” “I am…love in the purest form.”
There is no longer a need to chase. There is no longer a need for the other because the veil has been removed and the mirror is you. You are that which you seek.
The closer you are to the truth — the more the ego will try to elude you. It will whisper/tempt you. It wants to detour us from the true truth, from remembering that we were never separate to begin with. So it diverts our attention to things that we “feel.” It says, “Look over here.” But when we learn to go within instead of being led astray, when we remain steadfast in our truth, we cannot be tempted.
In the twin flame journey, one often looks at where the other twin is as confirmation of growth. So as to say, “I did the work, why am I not seeing it reflected in the other?” To look with one’s eyes is to lose sight of the goal. For the goal does not lie within the other person, but within one’s self.
You are the reflection in the mirror, always.
If you want to see your reflection, you wouldn’t look into the eyes of your cat. No. You would hold up a mirror to see yourself. The question is how do you see yourself? That is the key. Do you look at yourself with the same eyes of love that you see your twin? The temptation tries to refract your reflection. It tries to make you look outside of yourself for the answers. This just delays progress as all roads lead back to one’s self, meaning eventually you will still have to look inside yourself to create meaningful change.
While your twin is you, inside them is their own journey. While your actions affect them and you, them, ultimately, the truth is that one awakens to themselves, wholly. When one twin takes their eyes off themselves, trust in the process is diminished, and fear is given root.
The complication is the human spirit longs to attach emotion to love and experience. This is part of what makes human beings, human. The elevation of emotion creates connection that can feel transcending, at times.
How hard it is to not seek/desire this feeling? It is, after all, part of who we were created to be. But without balance, one can allow fear to enter in. Thus, the importance in the twin flame journey is to truly know one’s truth/self. How easy it is to look in the mirror and forget one’s reflection. Thus, meditation allows us the ability to return again and again and align ourselves with harmony and peace within.
And so ends my journaling. Just as hard and fast as the words flowed, they left. Even after I read my words, I still found myself drowning in my emotions. It happens. Hopefully knowing that even those of us who continue to make steady progress still struggle gives you encouragement. I thought I’d leave you with a few parting words.
To those facing this journey, meditation and self-love are the keys. While romance stories abound about the transcending love affair that awaits one on this journey, see the hype for what it is; hype. This is not a journey about the other person; this is a journey about you — the key difference is that the likelihood that you begun this journey was due to the actions of someone else. Accept the catalyst for the gift that it was and stay in your lane.
As for how this journey ends…time has yet to tell. Each of us have been called to live out our purpose in different ways. I am grateful and thankful for this journey even though it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever encountered in my life. I’ve come to accept aspects about myself that I once refused to look at or shamed myself about. I’ve learned patience, strength, and acceptance of what is — though, I can’t say that it was done willingly…haha. But the most important thing I gained from this entire experience was the re-ignition of my faith.
Forty years of life is enough to kill anyone’s hopes and dreams. By this time, I’ve lived long enough to know that bad things happen to good people and fairytales only exist in storybooks. But this journey has given me back the magic of life again. Numbers, synchronicities, nature, all of those things are no longer just objects in my peripheral. No. These have become meaning, communication, connection — God speaking to me and reminding me there is still magic. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.” All this time I’ve been thinking the treasure was everyone else…and it is…but it’s also me. I’ve come to value this beautiful soul I once beat to the ground.
May you find what you are looking for~