What does it mean to be seen?
If I could whisper three little words it would be, “I see you.” And if I could give you a peek inside my soul, you would see that those three words mean more than “I love you.”
You see, somewhere between the glare of expectation and the applause of approval, our soul loses its ability to see clearly. …
If heartbreak is fall then winter is its grave.
We bury beautiful things — ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Like leaves that fall and leave trails of what used to be, we are reminded of what was, be it objects seen in rearview mirrors to frames that align our walls — memories that once were, deconstructed atoms now hidden from view.
Twenty years of “I do” unremarkably sits atop my bookcase, a reminder of what was. …
I remember thinking I would never find love. And then when I did, after a while, it began to feel like nothing that I thought love was supposed to be. It was as if once I became his, I was no longer worth wooing. And after twenty years, love became just another word in my vocabulary.
But love is a powerful thing. Given a chance, it’s the fighter who comes back in the final round to show everyone the best is yet to come.
This is my letter to my husband after we almost called it quits. Throughout, I share…
I wish I could count the number of times I’ve been told my husband and I are the perfect couple. And then I wish I could give each of you a snapshot into our life when we are so angry and hurt at one another that we can barely form words, seething at the mouth like two dogs ready to attack.
We have a beautiful story — like something out of a movie or a fairytale, only after twenty years, I quit sharing it because I quit believing it.
We met one another on a missionary team based in my…
I am a lover of words.
A writer of love stories, a weaver of dreams.
I read all your favorite books
hoping to find glimpses of you
instead, I found pieces of me —
in the underlines, in the highlights,
in the pauses between.
Little reminders that I was never really looking
for your love. I mean, I thought I was.
I thought I was going to find some sort of transcendence
in your brilliance until you shut off the lights mid-sentence
and left me in the dark.
Me. Alone. Thinking I needed you.
Until you were no more.
Self-love has never come naturally to me
instead, it was easier for me to take that energy
and reflect it, like a mirror, for you to see.
I didn’t think I needed to see my own beauty
so I made sure you knew just how spectacular
you were or could be, given the right eyes to see.
I didn’t think I needed new things
instead, I gave my everything, to you — for you
going without to make sure you
always had because that’s what lovers & mothers do.
And loving you, completed me until it didn’t… And it fulfilled…
That quote by Liam Neeson is incredible. This piece was beautiful, Vickie! We are so connected. I went through a transition of late where I struggled with the meaning of life. And then I settled on the hope that if this is all there is then I am going to make it the best this that I can. Who knows if there's an afterlife. Who knows what lies, if anything, on the other side. What we can be certain of, is that as you stated so eloquently, we have all we need around us. Love is everywhere!
While listening to Tate McRae’s song, “You Broke Me First”, one cannot help but feel the angst and frustration at the one who broke them first. The haunting melody dares to bring out the enraged lover in all of us who finally found the strength to move on after being broken by the careless actions of another.
Yet, as much as I love this song and as much as I know those lyrics all too well, I can’t help but say thank you to the one who broke me first for they opened me up to a part that I…
Thank you for taking the time to meet me in this space, this space of holiness, of connectivity, of fingertips bleeding out on screens to barely touch the surface of the depth that lies within.
Thank you for being open, for listening, for taking the time to read and understand the words the rest of us write.
Thank you for the gift of connection, for I truly believe, it is in the gift of connection that God’s essence is amplified.
I used to be a mom first, a wife second, and Jacki, the writer, third.
There was a moment as…
Cotton candy sunsets
Remind me of childhood —
That I once knew
I returned my dreams like damaged goods
To conform to the ways of the world
Do this! Be that!
Take this test so we can see which box to put you in
And like cattle, I was herded
Down a path
That I thought would bring me happiness
As long as they kept the windows covered, they had me.
But the moment I could see outside
I knew I wanted more
It called to me
It pulled me
Writer, Creator, Crohn's warrior, & Lover of words. Just a girl changing the world one conversation at a time ❤️ I walk by faith, not sight ~